EVERYTHING I WANTED

 

 I had a dream and I got everything I wanted and it was kind of a fairy tale with my favourite people , at my favourite place, doing my favourite things, it was all so beautiful until it turned out not to, until it turned into a nightmare. This was the perfect life one could imagine just like those Netflix originals. What probably would have turned such a beautiful dream into a nightmare? Ta daa it was me, I wasn’t the same person in my dream as I am here because that girl in my dreams never lived the life which i live. She never experienced stuff what I did, I am me because of my past and how I handle life and the thought of losing this girl, this personality made me sweat. This is when i realised no amount of “perfection” can make life beautiful, highs and lows are what makes life so interesting. And yes that Billie Ellish’s  song lyric( one of my favourites)  was to grab attention.

Past , including good and bad times is important.

1.  Memories help form our identity. Our personal memories give us a sense of continuity — the same person (or sense of self) moving through time. They provide important details of who we are and who we would like to be.

Memories help us solve problems. Memories offer us potential solutions to current problems and help guide and direct us when solving them.

SMILING AT PAST 

Memories make us social. Personal memories are essential for social interactions. Being able to recall personal memories provides important material when making new friends, forming relationships and maintaining ones we already have.

Memories help us regulate our emotions. Our memories provide examples of similar situations we’ve been in before. This allows us to reflect on how we managed that emotion before and what we can learn from that experience.

Such memories can also help us manage strong negative emotions. For example, when someone is feeling sad they can take time to dwell on a positive memory to improve their mood.

Strengths that define us. The talents and abilities we use to navigate and provide value to this world define the lives we live and the change we can offer. And by recalling our strengths in the past, we can better recognize our opportunities in the present.

Weaknesses that frustrate us. We all have weaknesses in personality and competence. When left unaddressed, these weaknesses limit our potential for impact and significance. Discover them. Recognize them. And learn to overcome them by seeking the help of others.

Causes that energize us. Our lives find the greatest joy when we help others discover theirs. Which social causes have energized you in the past? What role were you able to fulfill in helping others? And how can similar pursuits bring new energy into your life today?

Relationships that inspire us. Over the course of our lives, there are, no doubt, a number of people who have inspired us to become better versions of ourselves. What traits do they have in common? And can you surround yourself with more people like them today?

Environments that derail us. The company we keep and the cultures we function in either bring us inspiration or derail our progress. Are there relationships in your past that continually brought you down and resulted in destructive decisions? If so, learn from your past to avoid them.

Habits that invigorate us. Over the course of our lives, we employ a variety of disciplines to make the most of it. We discover a new diet, a new fitness practice, or a new morning routine. We experiment with them–some work, some don’t. Eventually, these new disciplines either become habits or they fade from our memory. Look back. Recognize the habits that brought energy, health, and invigoration into your life. And embrace them again.

Affections that bring joy to us. Various matters of our mind and affections of our heart bring different amounts of joy, meaning, and fulfillment into our lives. What affections during life brought you the most joy? And have you gotten away from them? If so, return. And in so doing, recognize what distracted you from them in the first place.

Pursuits that distract us. Ultimately, the decisions we make with the resources we’ve been given determine the life we end up living. Most of the resources we have at our personal disposal are finite and limited (money, time, energy). By definition, the allocation of them towards one pursuit limits the amount of resources we have available towards others. It is wise to recognize the subtle pursuits that routinely distract you from the truest desires of your heart.

Addictions that control us. We are a people that too often give control of our most precious asset to another. We fall under the influence of substances, possessions, or entertainment. And when we do, our life is no longer our own. Identify the recurring controlling substances (addictions) in your life and humbly seek the help needed to remove their influence over you.

Temptations that trip us. Similar to addictions, we each have unique weaknesses to temptation. These temptations may vary in nature, but each detract from the fullest life possible. But they do not need to define us. We can begin anew. However, only those who can identify and admit their mistakes in the past have opportunity to learn from them.

Learning styles that suit us. We all learn differently. Some are visual learners, some are verbal, some learn best in a group setting, while others learn best alone. Your learning style is as unique to you as your fingerprint. The important thing is to recognize and understand what style suits you best. This life ought to be filled with constant learning… and the sooner we recognize how we learn best, the sooner we’ll begin to grow in it.

Motivations that compel us. Deep in our heart, our motivation runs supreme. It determines the decisions we make, the use of our time, and the words we choose to use. Understanding our deepest motivations is a difficult task. It requires stillness, patience, and consistent self-evaluation. But the more we discover why we do the things we do, the easier it is for us to make the most of the present we are living in today.

There are countless life-giving lessons we can learn from our past. Never feel that you have to be defined by it. But it would be equally foolish to forget it completely when it offers so much potential for the present. Just accept your past no matter how it was, that's the key to thrive in future. 

XOXO :)