Nostalgia has hit me hard today and a few minutes ago I drove in the sea of childhood teachings. It was a fine evening when my dad gave me a newspaper and asked me to read a sentence, I proudly picked it up and read these words " BETTER BE ALONE THAN A BAD COMPANY", at that time my dad was not really so impressed by my friend choices so just asked me to write this line beautifully and hang it on my bedroom wall. At that very moment I felt that it was my dad's responsibility to teach me a moral lesson like Panchatantra stories but after years I realized he was never wrong. There came an age when my life was flooded with fake people.
In my so far life journey I have figured some signs, which are a deadline and if you hold longer onto something it hurts.
It is not easy to let go of someone whom you love, vibe with and have created countless memories. But what's the line between having a difficult time in your friendship and a friend you shouldn't keep in your life?
Honestly, your gut knows the best. Everyone demands different pleasures from a friendship or relationship. In my case I want my friends to be honest with me, if I notice someone lying on my face day after day, I wont be able to hold up.
Here are some basic signs of letting go someone before you get in the mud
1. THEY MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF
If you feel disrespected or uncomfortable with them. If you feel being them makes you lose your identity and they put you down almost every moment you spent together, then that relationship is doing more bad than good, so it's good to maintain some distance.
2. YOUR FRIENDSHIP HAS BECAME ONE-SIDED
Constantly having to peruse your friend and get almost nothing in return is not a good idea for your self-worth.
Nothing runs one sided but yes the pain it gives is a lot.
If you've shared this with them and still you notice no difference, then don't waste your energy and let them go.
3. THERE IS SPITEFUL JEALOUS AND FURIOUS COMPETITION BETWEEN YOU
Your friendship is well truly on the rocks if you find yourselves in bouts of jealousy and ruthless one-upping. The constant need to prove yourselves to each other is exhausting rather than comforting.
Remember, friendships should be empowering and encouraging not antagonizing!
4. THEY NO LONGER CONTRIBUTE TO ANYTHING POSITIVE IN YOUR LIFE
Sometimes we have to stand for ourselves . If someone does nothing but brings negative vibes in your life, then you should respect yourself enough to let them go.
Positive doesn't have to be managing your projects or being a constant helper, having true intentions at heart, praising and supporting your deeds is enough to be called positive.
5. THEY CAN NO MORE KEEP YOUR SECRETS
You share your stuff with your friend and the next day you find out that almost every one at your workplace is aware of it, WOW WHAT A SURPRISE.
Sometimes people make mistakes, but if you notice a pattern arising, try to confront them about this behaviour so that you can explain how deeply their actions have affected you. But if they break your trust again, you might want to re-evaluate the relationship.
6. THEY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU
I need something from you and I am your friend for the day but when you need something from me I'll go fade away, yes such people exist and they manipulate you in such a great way that you never realize they fooled you.
Stay with friends not foxes. Even induction is mutual, so why not our friendship?
7. YOU CAN'T COUNT ON THEM
If you had an awful day and you need your friend to vent out on them and they cancel the last moment. Maybe they have any emergency call, but when this pattern becomes a habit,they might not be someone you want for long term, it's better to let it go rather than complaining and crying.
After all a friend in need is a friend indeed.
8. THEY MAKE NO TIME FOR YOU
Chances are, you're pretty busy with work, your social life, and a seemingly endless list of chores, and your friends probably are, too. But there's a difference between having a hard time coordinating schedules and having a friend who is regularly disinterested in spending time together.
You have an obligation to your happiness and well-being even more than you do theirs. If friendship makes you unhappy or gives you stress and anxiety, just it go.
HOLDING ON HURTS, SOMETIMES. BUT LOSING THE GEMS HURTS HARDER.
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